There is one question that we all must answer at some point in our lives. A question so fundamental to our very existence on this Earth, that to leave it unanswered would be catastrophic (or something). That question is this: Can I trust a puppy? The answer, unfortunately, is no.
No, you cannot trust a puppy.
Here is my opinion of puppies: I don’t trust them.
Before I met my best kitten friend, Mr. Sanchez, I lived with a close puppy friend of mine named Maurice. One day, I came home and found poops on my fancy turquoise rug. I asked Maurice if he poopsed on my fancy turquoise rug and he shook his head no (as if to say “no”). I was suspicious. I set up a hidden camera. The next day? More poops. Good thing I recorded it. Turns out, I forgot to put batteries in the camera. But still, I was pretty sure it was Maurice.
In other words, puppies are liars.
Here is a list of pets I’d rather have than a puppy:
- Anything else
Must Improve: Honesty, Accountability, Bladder control
Recommendation: Do NOT leave fancy rugs or electronics around a puppy. They WILL poops on them and then lie to your face about it.